Guess What: I enjoy sex more after starting Lexapro!

Who would have thought!

Two years ago, anxiety ruled my life.

Every morning, I woke up and felt anxiety physically pumping through my veins. Every night, I fumbled through breathing exercises and Melatonin doses to try and turn it off. Every decision, every move, every step I took was dictated by the question, “What will make me feel the least anxious right now?”

I couldn’t make it through a day without the constant buzzing of intrusive thoughts. I couldn’t make it through five seconds of therapy without crying. And I couldn’t make it through a single social interaction without a stress rash forming across my chest and face. Whether it was lunch with friends, a work meeting, or even sex. Giving a presentation? It’s stress rash time. Someone’s going down on me? I’m painted splotchy red. (Don’t worry, there’s a photo at the end for reference <3)

In April of 2023, I started Lexapro, an SSRI prescribed to treat anxiety and depression. In a time when I was drowning, it saved my life. Almost two years later, I couldn’t be more thrilled with the physical and mental results I’ve experienced. My anxiety is minimal and manageable, I feel stable and safe and secure, I’m in control of my thoughts, and I still feel like me. It didn’t change me or make me feel artificial—but rather, it removed the fog so I could see myself and the world more clearly. It’s crazy to look back and think that I was nervous to start.

Everyone who has started an SSRI knows the narrative around the dreaded side effects.

Weight gain. Low sex drive. Nausea. Headaches. You name it, you need to prepare for it. I remember calling my then boyfriend and genuinely asking him, “Will you still love me if my sex drive is lowered? Will you still think I’m pretty if I gain weight?” Looking back, it’s wild to think that I maintained a relationship with that level of anxiety and insecurity.

In fact, I did gain weight. The nausea came and went. And my sex drive may have ever so slightly lowered, but the quality of sexual encounters only improved. So, the rumors are true: Sex got better for me after I started Lexapro. Both relationship sex, and now, single sex.

Let me clarify: I still had awesome sex B.L. (Before Lexapro). But it was clouded. Intrusive thoughts made it way harder to stay present and enjoy the experience. My anxious attachment convinced me that sex was something I gave to partners to keep them interested. And maybe worst of all, I tried to use sex as an escape from anxiety — which, duh, never fucking worked.

Now, A.L. (After Lexapro) I no longer worry that I’m getting a stress rash while being eaten out. I’m finally able to separate anxiety and people pleasing from penetration. And, TBH, I’m still incredibly horny. I’m sure a part of that is because my baseline is at such a high horniness level, that even if Lexapro took me down a notch, my libido would still be popping off. But I also really think that being less anxious has made sex better. It’s that simple.

I wanted to share this to try and remove some of the fear around starting SSRIs, specifically in relation to sex. Sure, the weight gain has been a little tricky and brought up new insecurities. And yes, your sex drive may bend and shift. But those are trades I would gladly make for the peace of mind I’ve achieved since my lovely Lexapro journey.

I recognize that it’s a lot more complicated for guys, and for many men on antidepressants, getting it up can be a real struggle. I’m glad that those folks are recognizing that taking the medication they need is more important than erections. But still, that’s a rough experience!

So, I can’t speak for the guys. But to my girls, if you want to join the Lexapro community and are scared you won’t be horny anymore, please go forth and place your faith in the Lexapro gods. You’ll be shocked at how much better life — and sex — becomes when you can see and feel clearly.

If you have any questions about navigating anxiety and sex, please submit them to my Reaching Railed form! I’d love to hear from you :)