Just the Tips: Overthinking in bed, getting back in the game, & guys who can't cum

How to get back out there after being cheated on—and more!!!

Welcome back to Just the Tips, our unfiltered, unprofessional advice column where nothing is TMI! As always, if you want to write in your own question, fill out the form here. Here’s a little preview of your questions I’ll answer today! Keep scrolling for my advice!

Question 1: “How do you get back into the game? (The game being sex). I was cheated on 4 years ago and haven’t had any partners/encounters since. I’m no longer actively avoiding potential partners, but I feel like I’ve lost the hang of things. I don’t feel sexy, and I worry that I’ve forgotten all that I once knew. Help!”

Question 2: “How do you get past your thoughts? I feel my brain is always so hyperactive during sex even when I’m with someone I really love and all I want is to have sex with them. It’s so stressful.”

Question 3: “I’m getting to know a guy, we’ve been going on dates for like 3 months now. The sex is amazing and he makes sure that I’m enjoying it every time and he’s pretty communicative in general. However, it is super difficult for him to cum, he’s only cum once when we’ve had sex. I asked him and he said that it is often like that, so he almost never finishes. Even though we talked about it, it pains me seeing him not fully enjoying it. I know that I’m not the reason, but seeing him stressing about it makes me feel bad. Since we already talked about it and he said that it was ok and told me not to worry, I don’t know what else to do/say, but doing nothing seeing that he’s not totally fine with it makes me uncomfortable. I want him to enjoy it as much as I am. What do you think should be my approach?”