Hundreds of substack users called me a whore

What do you do when your female empowerment substack turns into a slut-shaming fest? Asking for a friend

I started Railed almost a year ago with a very specific mission in mind:

“Hi, I’m Mia :)” my About page reads. “I care a lot about normalizing the experiences young women are going through today and alleviating the shame we feel around sex. Railed is a place to celebrate the complicated world of being a sexual woman. It’s a place to cry over crushes and laugh about sex; plan your wedding one day and have your organs rearranged the next.”

For the first nine months of its existence, my sexy substack was a safe place—a place where women could come and see their sexuality as empowering. Where well-meaning men could ask questions without judgement. But that all changed when one of my recent posts found its way to…well…the wrong side of the internet.

“It’s 2025. Why don’t men want to date a slut?” the headline of my article asked, and contrary to popular opinion, this wasn’t click bait or satire. This was a story of my personal experience being taken less seriously after having sex on the first date, just a month or so ago. With thousands of views and hundreds of comments, Railed quickly transformed into a slut-shaming fest, and I find myself still cleaning up the aftermath and working to rebuild the safe space it once was.

Below is that story, spliced together with a very small taste of the comments I received. I hope this format doesn’t feel like I’m dramatizing these comments or taking them out of context—but frankly, I think when you read them, you’ll agree that they speak for themselves.

With each comment, I’m continuously reminded of why I care so much about Railed and the mission I set out with. Every woman deserves to be sexual and slutty and all the things she wants to be—without fear of being shamed or criticized, without fear of being told she’s less serious or important or intelligent or womanly or human—and I’ll continue to fight for that everyday.

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Published by Mia Sherin on March 27: It’s 2025. Why don’t men want to date a slut?

(by slut, I obviously mean me)

“Here’s the brutal truth: men don’t want to settle down with sperm buckets. All the guys she’s been with are miles on the odometer. Used goods aren’t keepers.” -@dutchmn007

Last week, I went on a first date. I knew him from college actually, but we only spoke once, about four years ago. That is, until two weeks ago, when we matched on Hinge and quickly set-up a date.

“No man wants to date -- and potentially marry -- a ‘sex writer’ who writes publicly on the internet about her sex life for others to read and comment on.” - @candidclodhopper

The date was lovely. He shared that he’s looking for a relationship, and I shared that I try to date without expectations—but that I’d be ready for something long-term if the right person came along. We talked about self-growth and religion and politics and my job—and what my job would look like if I was in a relationship.

“All sluts talk like this and wonder why nobody wants to settle down and take them seriously.” - @costarica

After two glasses of wine, he invited me to see his rooftop and later, his apartment. Eventually, we were kissing on his couch.

“Gross. You have really low self-respect.” - @allie29

“Just so you know, I didn’t expect this,” he told me nervously.

“Oh!” I pulled back, unsure of what he meant. “We definitely don’t have to keep going. We can stop!” I’ve been that person on the other side of an icky hookup, where you don’t feel comfortable and don’t know how to get out of it. I would never want to put someone in that position. And I especially wouldn’t want someone to feel like because I’m a sex writer, I always expect sex or something.

“Public whore behavior. Shameful.” - @disaffectedpod

“No,” he laughed with an ease that reassured me. “I want to!”

“Okay,” I replied. “We don’t have to go farther—whatever you want.”

It turns out that sex is what he wanted, as did I. He asked for my consent before grabbing a condom, and I double checked that he was sure he wanted to before putting it in. It was all well and kosher. And it felt great.

“Men don't want to buy a rental car...but they will enjoy driving the hell out of it.” - @josef576426

“I can’t believe I broke my ‘no sex on the first date rule,’” he said as we cuddled naked.

A little jarred, I tried to shrug it off. “Why don’t you normally have sex on the first date?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I like to make sure I really know the person first.”

“That makes sense,” I said. After a pause, I added, “I hope you don’t regret us having sex…?”

“Not at all,” he said. “It felt organic.”

“Good. I agree,” I replied.

“Sluts are for fucking not dating.” - @bihemisphericalmoola

“Do you ever juggle multiple guys at once?” he asked as my eyes fled open.

“No,” I replied. “Honestly, I wish I could. But I tend to get wrapped up in one person.” I couldn’t believe how honest I was being.

“She’s Community Property. 😆 of course a Man will smash, but if he’s smart he’s not going to wife up this Thot.” - @unvaccinatedlikejesus

He seemed somewhat satisfied by that answer, but my mouth didn’t feel like shutting up. “I’m a little slutty,” I said. “Is that something you are okay with?”

“I think so,” he responded. Looking back, I’m not sure if he was being as honest.

“You couldn’t possibly be serious. Who sleeps with someone on the first date and expects to be taken seriously as a long-term partner? What kind of woman tells a guy “I’m slutty” and expects to be wifed up after that? Is this post for real or satire” - @sleeplessinmichigan

We texted throughout the next day, and I eventually asked if he wanted to get together next week. “To be transparent,” he said, “I don’t see us being a long-term fit, and that’s what I’m looking for right now.” Long-term fit. That fucked me up.

“Guy dodged a bullet, good for him.” - @squilon

I wondered when he realized that he wasn’t interested—at least in that way. The long-term way. Was it something I said at drinks? Was it when I said I dated with no expectations? Was it before we had sex? Or was it when I admitted that I’m a slut? My gut was telling me that I knew exactly why he texted me this. Why I wasn’t long-term material. “It’s because we had sex,” I told my roommate. “I know it is.”

“It is because you are a whore” - @lostcrusader

I always preach to women that if you want to bang on the first date, you should. That if a man takes you less seriously because of that, then he isn’t the one for you. But for some reason, when it was happening to me, it was more difficult to rationalize.

“It was 100% because you fucked him. AND you admitted that you're slutty. Both of those show you're for fun, not for commitment. Sad to hear feminism claimed another victim.” - @travisnevilleauthor

I felt more bummed than I’d like to admit. Not even because of any feelings towards him—we really had just met!—but because of feelings I was having towards myself. Would I always be the girl you break your “no sex on the first date rule” for, but not the girl who’s a “long-term fit”?

“Nobody wants a second hand dart board !!!!” @snoopalot1958

Would I always be someone you see tonight with, just not a future with? Why can’t a slut also be a wife?

“Men literally have an expression covering this: you can’t make a hoe into a housewife.” - @mirakulous

What do you think? Am I off base? Do you think it has nothing to do with the fact that we banged? I tried to give you all the information, to share what I believed to be the relevant details of our date. But it’s very possible that there’s something I missed, something I said, or just a feeling he got.

“Have you considered that maybe you're bad at sex?” - @giacomob

Frankly, I give him major props for not ghosting me and being straight-up. He just struck a nerve he didn’t know was there. It really shouldn’t matter. It was just one date. Unfortunately, it turns out that I am one sensitive slut.

“I’m so sick of this fucking content popping up in my feed. Like just go make porn and stay off my timeline with your transparent attempt to sell sex to men on this app. It's not edgy. It’s not cool. It’s desperate and low caliber.” - @theselfgoverness

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Where do I go from here? Where does Railed go from here?

To all of my readers, old and new, I want to make myself immensely clear:

Railed is not a space for slut-shaming. It’s not a space for middle-aged horndogs to get their dick wet. And it’s certainly not a space where we agree to disagree on women’s bodily autonomy and sexual freedom.

What is Railed? It’s a community of people who want to celebrate sexual women. Who want think about sexuality in new ways. Who want to support everyone’s right to consensual, enjoyable sex.

To all those who are in support of my mission, I’m so grateful you’re here.