I personally don't think it's a big deal. If two people feel comfortable they can do anything they want in private. It's nobody else's business. I do have to suggest that most guys enjoy the chase and most women enjoy being chased. When the chase becomes relatively easy, many guys will run away to the next woman. I don't think it's right but people do what they do. I enjoyed your story and unfortunately people like to slam other people on the internet. Keep writing.
I’m sorry, these comments are horrible. For what it’s worth — I only discovered Railed a couple of weeks ago but I find it helpful and reassuring. I’d say it’s also made me more confident about being open with people about what I’m looking for (and vice versa!) I’m glad you’re writing and sharing because it is genuinely really important and helpful.
Thanks for sharing what happened with all these comments coming at you. All the people who posted are pretty pathetic. Such negative and cruel attitudes towards people they don't know ( in this case you) are the real problem with what's going on in the world today. I support you and everyone in this community who has the courage to share your life experiences so we can learn from and appreciate one another ❤️
I found you because I read that article. You have my deep respect. At first I posted a deeply personal comment on that post, then deleted it because - why would I want to connect with so many slut shamers at once? Ewww.
As for the Candid Clodhopper, you are entitled to your opinion and I have the sense you mean well, but I disagree. There are many good men who choose honest, kind, intelligent, and adventurous women like Mia who have chosen to live life on their own terms.
Mia has the courage and heart to put herself out there to help other women release their repressed sexual shame. Mature, confident men who are honest with themselves want women with her brave authenticity.
Horrible comments and terrible behaviour from the guy too. I think your stack is great and also very enlightening and informative to know how women are thinking and talking about sex
My comment wasn't about shaming you; in the first bit not included here, I specifically said there are plenty of men who don't care about a woman's body count, usually because they've been around the block as well.
What I said about the incompatibility of marriage and lack of discretion -- a lack which is required to be a "sex writer" -- was to help you, and I hope it does. There *is* a type of man who would be willing to date a woman who writes publicly about her sex life, but it's not a good type of man. It isn't the strong, moral type of man who will cherish you and protect you; it's a weak type of man who just wants to hold up some "super-slut trophy" in front of his friends or the internet for a while, until it gets old.
Look at @tsjmcgrath in the comment section here. That sort of weak, soyboy Harry Potter lookalike is the type of guy who's going to be okay with dating a sex writer (for a while). That's not the sort of man who can and will protect you and cherish you. Indeed, protecting you and cherishing you would involve keeping you out of the purview of weirdos on the internet.
This is honest, not hateful advice and I genuinely hope things work out for you. I hope you grow closer to God, and I hope you reconsider what a good man is and what a good woman is and what the two can and ought to expect from each other.
Nah, you’re just a prude at best or a prick at worst. I didn’t see you I. Your original comment or on here shaming the dude for fucking on the first date.
I suspect you use candid as a way to be an opinionated asshole and feel justified and morally superior.
If you were a better reader, you'd know that I didn't shame her for fucking on the first date, either. She asked a question: “Why don't guys want to date a slut?” I answered: “It isn't your body count or proclivity for sex that are why they refuse to date you, it's your adamant lack of discretion in being a ‘sex writer.’ No guy wants his wife or girlfriend telling the whole world about what is supposed to be private.”
In a world of lies, being candid is a notable attribute. In a world obsessed with money and deviance, it isn't very difficult for an honest clodhopper to hold the moral high ground.
Get mad at the truth or accept it and act accordingly. Your life, not mine.
You were being nakedly honest & intimate. He rejected you. “Not a long term fit,” stung a bit. And the awful, terrible bad comments did not help.
For what it’s worth, dear lovely slut, I think you are not a slut. “Slut” is feminine for fuck-ready, pretty much anytime, anyone, anywhere. Is there a male counterpart? Closest I can come to: “fucking-horny-bastard”. Philanderer? Um...no.
Double standard? Yes.
You are clear throughout your writing that you are discriminating, careful.
I think it might be closer to the truth: you are someone who knows you are open to intimacy & sweet orgasms—and who knows it is necessary to be choosy.
Could your date have done you a favor by early acknowledging that he double standards?
He’s not the one for you.
A little slutty? Ok, but with the right person, time & place—and sustaining that (honey-sweet orgasms and more orgasms) means practicing being a grown-up: being responsible, honest, capable, etc.
Now you’re getting even more discriminating.
Just strikes me that you’re on the verge of becoming a wonderful lover, spouse, wife. Maybe a few are so close…
Sorry that happened and your community was detailed. On the bright side, it probably also gave you some exposure, as I believe I only found your piece by someone posting a not very charitable note about it. I get these guys all the time on my pieces, and refuse to give them the satisfaction of being blocked, which is perhaps dumb on my part, but oh well.
Keep in mind there's a whole cohort who live in constant anxiety, fear, and anger that women everywhere are having sex *but not with them*. And they love nothing more than to find and celebrate examples of those women getting "punished" or suffering for their crime of being sexual (but not with them). There's really a whole intense and quite strange psychology behind it...often times the biggest haters will become the ones most obsessed, following and constantly commenting on your pieces or about you. I'm not trying to argue for sympathy for them, just noting that I bet the irony here is you probably picked up some of the haters as followers bc they are constantly attracted to what they fear most, seemingly.
I personally don't think it's a big deal. If two people feel comfortable they can do anything they want in private. It's nobody else's business. I do have to suggest that most guys enjoy the chase and most women enjoy being chased. When the chase becomes relatively easy, many guys will run away to the next woman. I don't think it's right but people do what they do. I enjoyed your story and unfortunately people like to slam other people on the internet. Keep writing.
Exactly Bryon!
Thanks Byron! I will!
I’m sorry, these comments are horrible. For what it’s worth — I only discovered Railed a couple of weeks ago but I find it helpful and reassuring. I’d say it’s also made me more confident about being open with people about what I’m looking for (and vice versa!) I’m glad you’re writing and sharing because it is genuinely really important and helpful.
Thank you Tom, that means a lot!!
forever a defender of sluts on substack
ILY ❤️
You I like ;)
Thanks for sharing what happened with all these comments coming at you. All the people who posted are pretty pathetic. Such negative and cruel attitudes towards people they don't know ( in this case you) are the real problem with what's going on in the world today. I support you and everyone in this community who has the courage to share your life experiences so we can learn from and appreciate one another ❤️
Thank you so much Greg!! I appreciate you!
I found you because I read that article. You have my deep respect. At first I posted a deeply personal comment on that post, then deleted it because - why would I want to connect with so many slut shamers at once? Ewww.
As for the Candid Clodhopper, you are entitled to your opinion and I have the sense you mean well, but I disagree. There are many good men who choose honest, kind, intelligent, and adventurous women like Mia who have chosen to live life on their own terms.
Mia has the courage and heart to put herself out there to help other women release their repressed sexual shame. Mature, confident men who are honest with themselves want women with her brave authenticity.
Thank you so much Karin!!
Commenting and praying the algo gods bring your page back where it belongs 🙏🏼 *throws some sage around for good measure*
You’re the best ❤️
Fuck the haters (figuratively obviously)
Horrible comments and terrible behaviour from the guy too. I think your stack is great and also very enlightening and informative to know how women are thinking and talking about sex
This is a phenomenally written piece.
I have thoughts, (all supportive) but will post them soon as I can collect them.
Great work! Keep writing!
From: A New Subscriber
Proud of you!
❤️
I am quite sad that you are being mistreated in the comments. Don't change anything
!!!!
My comment wasn't about shaming you; in the first bit not included here, I specifically said there are plenty of men who don't care about a woman's body count, usually because they've been around the block as well.
What I said about the incompatibility of marriage and lack of discretion -- a lack which is required to be a "sex writer" -- was to help you, and I hope it does. There *is* a type of man who would be willing to date a woman who writes publicly about her sex life, but it's not a good type of man. It isn't the strong, moral type of man who will cherish you and protect you; it's a weak type of man who just wants to hold up some "super-slut trophy" in front of his friends or the internet for a while, until it gets old.
Look at @tsjmcgrath in the comment section here. That sort of weak, soyboy Harry Potter lookalike is the type of guy who's going to be okay with dating a sex writer (for a while). That's not the sort of man who can and will protect you and cherish you. Indeed, protecting you and cherishing you would involve keeping you out of the purview of weirdos on the internet.
This is honest, not hateful advice and I genuinely hope things work out for you. I hope you grow closer to God, and I hope you reconsider what a good man is and what a good woman is and what the two can and ought to expect from each other.
Nah, you’re just a prude at best or a prick at worst. I didn’t see you I. Your original comment or on here shaming the dude for fucking on the first date.
I suspect you use candid as a way to be an opinionated asshole and feel justified and morally superior.
If you were a better reader, you'd know that I didn't shame her for fucking on the first date, either. She asked a question: “Why don't guys want to date a slut?” I answered: “It isn't your body count or proclivity for sex that are why they refuse to date you, it's your adamant lack of discretion in being a ‘sex writer.’ No guy wants his wife or girlfriend telling the whole world about what is supposed to be private.”
In a world of lies, being candid is a notable attribute. In a world obsessed with money and deviance, it isn't very difficult for an honest clodhopper to hold the moral high ground.
Get mad at the truth or accept it and act accordingly. Your life, not mine.
You were being nakedly honest & intimate. He rejected you. “Not a long term fit,” stung a bit. And the awful, terrible bad comments did not help.
For what it’s worth, dear lovely slut, I think you are not a slut. “Slut” is feminine for fuck-ready, pretty much anytime, anyone, anywhere. Is there a male counterpart? Closest I can come to: “fucking-horny-bastard”. Philanderer? Um...no.
Double standard? Yes.
You are clear throughout your writing that you are discriminating, careful.
I think it might be closer to the truth: you are someone who knows you are open to intimacy & sweet orgasms—and who knows it is necessary to be choosy.
Could your date have done you a favor by early acknowledging that he double standards?
He’s not the one for you.
A little slutty? Ok, but with the right person, time & place—and sustaining that (honey-sweet orgasms and more orgasms) means practicing being a grown-up: being responsible, honest, capable, etc.
Now you’re getting even more discriminating.
Just strikes me that you’re on the verge of becoming a wonderful lover, spouse, wife. Maybe a few are so close…
Sorry that happened and your community was detailed. On the bright side, it probably also gave you some exposure, as I believe I only found your piece by someone posting a not very charitable note about it. I get these guys all the time on my pieces, and refuse to give them the satisfaction of being blocked, which is perhaps dumb on my part, but oh well.
Keep in mind there's a whole cohort who live in constant anxiety, fear, and anger that women everywhere are having sex *but not with them*. And they love nothing more than to find and celebrate examples of those women getting "punished" or suffering for their crime of being sexual (but not with them). There's really a whole intense and quite strange psychology behind it...often times the biggest haters will become the ones most obsessed, following and constantly commenting on your pieces or about you. I'm not trying to argue for sympathy for them, just noting that I bet the irony here is you probably picked up some of the haters as followers bc they are constantly attracted to what they fear most, seemingly.